Programs that help or applying to have kids?

Last week, one of my colleagues asked me to read a few articles on racial discrimination, child rearing and the U.S. institutions that are suppose to help mothers and their children. After reading a few articles, I became fairly upset. I became upset because I wanted a just system. In a few of the articles, I read about women of color who lost their children, who were discriminated against when it came time to be reunited with their children, who were afraid of asking for help and feared losing their children, and who did not have access to the resources to help their children and themselves lift themselves out of poverty. I was dumbfounded to have learned that so much pain was inflicted upon so many women and children. I guess what really hurt me was how blind I have been to my white privilege. Yes, there are white women and men out there who have their children taken away, but white people tend to have social capital (i.e. white privilege) that men and women of color lack.

The more I read, the more infuriated I became. In the end, I basically decided that governments either need to revise how they distribute funds and implement certain programs, or we need to have a formal application process when we want to get pregnant and have kids. Please be aware that I am not trying to discriminate here. Everyone, white, blacks, hispanics, asians, heterosexuals, homosexuals would be subject to review. Yes, yes, I know white heterosexuals would unfortunately have an advantage because we can't just go back and reset the clock. Historically, white heterosexual people have had certain privileges, and this is not my point. My point is that everyone should be treated fairly and in order to do so, we need to fix our institutions that are designed to help men, women, and children out of difficult situations and not make the situation worse. Taking children from a parent because she left a 13 yr old kid with a 3 yr old, is not right while she was gone for only half an hour (especially if the 13 yr old has neighbors he/she could go to for help). And then to see these children go into foster care, be abused, and then go back into the system via the justice system. This is also extremely problematic since young black men are more likely to be charged and even convicted as adults.

I know my opinion here might be a little uncouth, but hey things need to change.

Feminism and Religion

In 2007, Matthew Chapman, the great grandson of Charles Darwin, spoke at the Atheist Alliance International and said “A feminist who believes in God is like a slave who has been freed but continues to live on the plantation.” He also noted that Atheist organizations, like the AAI, should focus their attention on women particularly. He argued that "I believe that in the end, it will be women who will turn this around." This is a mighty big task for women to take on, but I completely agree with Chapman. Women need to come together and realize how much religion represses and harms others. I personally think that all feminists should be atheists because of the harmful effects of religion. Feminists, for the most part, believe that repressive institutions should be eliminated. Since religion, and particularly Christianity, attempts to convince women that they are supplementary beings created for man, religious/supernatural beliefs should be rejected. I would like to encourage all women and men reading this to examine how religion serves to keep women in submissive positions within society.

Beliefs and Questions

I have decided to post some of my core beliefs and perhaps answer a few of your questions about feminism.

First and foremost, I believe every feminist has the right to define what it means to be a feminist for herself/himself. That being said, feminism to me means that men and women of every race/ethnicity (regardless of ability or disability) should have equal opportunity to education, health care, positions of power, the right to marry whomever they choose, and freely be themselves without persecution (except when this activity physically or psychologically harms others). I also reserve the right to change my opinion and/or my beliefs when I see fit. I also believe in feminism (not necessarily humanism, even though it’s also a good idea). I do not believe in a god. This of course is different than having morals. Morality deals with how to treat others and I try to respect and be courteous to everyone I meet. I treat others as I would like to be treated—end of discussion.

Some questions you may have.

What does it mean to be a feminist? Like I mention in the previous paragraph, I believe every self-proclaimed feminist should define what this means for herself/himself. That being said of course, the widely accepted belief is that feminism focuses particularly on advocacy for women.

Can men really be feminists? Yes. Of course they can be feminists. For example, John Stuart Mill was one of the great male feminists and advocate for women’s rights.

What’s the difference between feminism and humanism, and why does the distinction matter? Feminism “is a political discourse aimed at equal rights and legal protection for women.” Humanism “focuses on universal human particularly rationality, rather than the supernatural or the authority of religious texts.” The big difference however, is the fact the feminism draws attention to women. This distinction is important because the term humanism although it seemly includes everyone, excludes women. Semantically, feminism specifically refers to what is essentially/biologically “feminine” while humanism refers to everyone, but no one in particular. I do believe, however, that feminism is based on rationality like humanism.

What’s the difference between radical feminists and other moderate feminists? Some of the core beliefs of radical feminism include: anti-pornography, the idea that women can only be completely free when they are around other women only, and women have the right to their own bodies. These are only a few of their beliefs, but some of the big principles. Please see Radically Speaking: Feminism Reclaimed for further review.

Liberal feminists typically have beliefs similar to my own with some exceptions. Liberal feminists believe that women and men are equal and should receive equal treatment under the law, and women have the right to their own bodies. See Radically Speaking: Feminism Reclaimed for further review. I would argue that many moderate feminists are probably married and religious.

Can a feminist be married, or is that antithetical to the entire dogma of feminism? Yes, male and female feminists can be married. If gays and lesbians are ever allowed to legally marry, then even more married couples would be feminists.

Why is religion not a component of your feminist ideals? I believe that the concept of god and the afterlife are man made ideas created to reinforce morality within religions, but like I stated earlier morality and religion are two separate things. I also believe in evolution. I don’t believe that some supreme being created the world and judges our actions. It shouldn’t matter whether someone is watching; I should value life and everyone around me because I want to be valued. I believe that religion also reinforces female submission and male authority.

Does the term “feminist” imply “man-hater”? Definitely not! I have three older brothers and a father that I love very much. I also love my husband. Most feminists are very similar to me in the sense that we “hate” the systems that reward (and cater to) men and fail to reward (and/or even punish) women for the same work and/or behavior.

Do all feminists believe in abortion? No. I personally believe that each woman has the right to choose for herself what to do with her body. I also believe that the father of the potential child should be consulted about whether or not to abort a fetus. I am pro-choice for several reasons. I believe that young women who are molested and/or raped (whether it be by a relative or a stranger) should have the option to choose to have an abortion or not. Women who have abortions for other reasons, I could care less about. It is their personal decision and I have no right to judge their actions.

What made you become a feminist? A lot of things. In high school I had a very vocal feminist theater teacher whom I admired (and still admire to this day). I also took a psychology of women course while I was an undergraduate that really opened my mind. The more I learned about women and our rights, the more I became a feminist.

Please feel free to post other questions that I have not formally addressed. Thank you.