God is now on Facebook

I've been noticing that a lot of my religious family members and friends keep posting God related comments and quotes from the Bible and it's really starting to piss me off. One of my beloved aunt's just posted "If we forget God, Satan will rule. If we forget God, our Nation is through" and I finally got the nerve to respond and wrote this:
"personally, I'm for the separation of church and state and find the infiltration of religion into law/school and our public system very problematic. This is coming from someone who is an atheist and also lives a moral lifestyle, and gets frustrated when history gets revised because of religion (Texas school board wanted to emphasize that our founding fathers were Christian (and they were not)--due to this, the writers who create school textbooks have to cater to these ideas (which then get moved nationwide). Just a thought."

I'm so sick of people writing "oh god" this and "oh god" that. I think every time I see a facebook status that refers to god I'm going to write in mine "There is no god, embrace the light."

Where I stand as a feminist

A few days ago I talked about the different types of feminists and found myself thinking about where I stand as a feminist.

I believe....
that white privilege exists (and should not)
that male privilege exists (and should not)
that education (and not religion) is the way to a greater understanding of life
that people need to communicate and discuss issues that bother them
that it doesn't matter what your sexuality is, you should be able to marry whomever you love
that the institution of marriage may cripple many women (it's not for me)
that the government doesn't always know what's best for me and my family
that I have the right to do whatever I want, to my body because it is mine
that more men need to become feminists
that life is what you make it, overcoming adversity makes one stronger, but adversity should not be condoned by institutions or systems.
that the US military should be about defense and that both men and women kick ass as soldiers
that men and women should be paid the same for the same work
that men and women should be active parents (and should constantly work at it)
that married individuals should implement a more egalitarian (if this is what each individual wants) lifestyle--household chores, bills, duties, etc.
and
that more than it is important for you to believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in you.

It's been awhile

I'm sorry it's been awhile since I posted something new, but school has been crazy busy. I've been working on a project that examines gender performance in the classroom and I've been doing a lot of teaching. I have some good news. I got a teaching assisstantship through the gender and women's studies department and my husband and I are buying a house. I also presented a paper in San Antonio, TX. My students' essays have been very informative and for the most part very good. I'm ready for the semester to end though.

Programs that help or applying to have kids?

Last week, one of my colleagues asked me to read a few articles on racial discrimination, child rearing and the U.S. institutions that are suppose to help mothers and their children. After reading a few articles, I became fairly upset. I became upset because I wanted a just system. In a few of the articles, I read about women of color who lost their children, who were discriminated against when it came time to be reunited with their children, who were afraid of asking for help and feared losing their children, and who did not have access to the resources to help their children and themselves lift themselves out of poverty. I was dumbfounded to have learned that so much pain was inflicted upon so many women and children. I guess what really hurt me was how blind I have been to my white privilege. Yes, there are white women and men out there who have their children taken away, but white people tend to have social capital (i.e. white privilege) that men and women of color lack.

The more I read, the more infuriated I became. In the end, I basically decided that governments either need to revise how they distribute funds and implement certain programs, or we need to have a formal application process when we want to get pregnant and have kids. Please be aware that I am not trying to discriminate here. Everyone, white, blacks, hispanics, asians, heterosexuals, homosexuals would be subject to review. Yes, yes, I know white heterosexuals would unfortunately have an advantage because we can't just go back and reset the clock. Historically, white heterosexual people have had certain privileges, and this is not my point. My point is that everyone should be treated fairly and in order to do so, we need to fix our institutions that are designed to help men, women, and children out of difficult situations and not make the situation worse. Taking children from a parent because she left a 13 yr old kid with a 3 yr old, is not right while she was gone for only half an hour (especially if the 13 yr old has neighbors he/she could go to for help). And then to see these children go into foster care, be abused, and then go back into the system via the justice system. This is also extremely problematic since young black men are more likely to be charged and even convicted as adults.

I know my opinion here might be a little uncouth, but hey things need to change.

Another Reason Why Religion (especially Christianity) is a bad thing

If you haven't heard about this, then you are probably the only one. I cannot believe the nerve. This group makes Americans out to look like complete idiots. "We didn't know we couldn't cross the border with 33 children without the proper documentation." Oh come on! Are these people completely blind to our own illegal immigration issues? How could they not know what they were doing was sketchy? I have no sympathy for these idiots. Personally, I think they should sit in jail for awhile. Helping the children is one thing, but not realizing that you need proper documentation to take 33 Haitian children out of Haiti??

My thoughts on Marriage

This post is in response to articles I read for a class that I'm taking. I have linked the articles mentioned.

When I read the articles for class, I couldn’t help but examine my own beliefs and thoughts about marriage. Before I discuss the readings, I will first state several of my beliefs. First and foremost, I believe marriage is a conscious decision made by two individuals. It is a decision that should not be based solely on “love.” It is a financial decision as well as a decision about motherhood/fatherhood. I believe marriage is not necessarily for everyone and should not be believed to last forever. With that being said, I do agree with statistics that indicate that the more educated a person is and the older a person is when he/she marries, the more likely he/she will remain married to the same person for many years and will probably never go through a divorce. Marriage is about sharing and communicating with your spouse. I think a lack of communication between partners is more likely to be the root of a problem than whether or not your husband does his share of the laundry or childcare. I also don’t see marriage as an institution dependent upon submission. It’s about mutual responsibility.

I agree with some of the assertions made by Melissa Harris-Lacewell in her article “Reflections on Marriage.” Marriage is definitely an institution drenched in “a troubling cultural mythology,” but it is not static. As Harris-Lacewell suggests, it can and needs to change. Judy Syfers piece, “Why I Want a Wife,” not only made me think of a similar sarcastic piece, but it also brings to light several of the assumptions many people had (and currently have) about what it means to be married. Several of the duties Syfers lists, like being cognziant of one’s spouse’s sexual needs, are still relevant today. A couple that does not discuss both partners’ needs will probably cause angst. In “Once Political, Now Just Practical,” Sara Saraohn criticizes Syfers work for being reductionistic. Personally, I think Syfers use of humor (satire particularly) is perfectly acceptable since it makes sense to be reductionist about an issue that essentializes and reduces the roles of men and women within a marriage.

I enjoyed Meghan O’Rourke’s stance on romantic love in “Has Marriage Become the Sacred Cow of Feminism?.” I agree with O’Rourke when she argues that our society’s notion of marriage is rooted in our ideas about romantic love. The media tells kids that men and women are different and have different goals in life. The media, especially Disney movies, tell young children that romantic love and marriage are idealistic images. It assumes and reinforces the notion that women want Prince Charming to rescue them from their neglectful and perhaps evil families. Lastly, the article “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” saddened me even though I understood Sandra Loh’s predicament. This article saddened me mostly because Loh refused to acknowledge that even though many people reject marriage, it doesn’t mean that these people don’t need people. I am proud that Loh takes a stance on what she believes, but I would’ve liked her to acknowledge that even though her own needs, which include having a companion, being comforted by another person, etc. will be sidelined until her children are out of school.

In class, Sarah Schuetez mentioned that marriage is an institution that reinforces other institutions, like religion, and I completely agree with this. This is probably one reason why divorce rates in the U.S. are as high as they are. I also think that many people don’t discuss what it means to be married with others. For example, my parents never talked to me about decisions they made (financial, educational or otherwise) that affected the family and their marriage. The trip to the alter is what many people think about or focus on, not what to do when there is an unexpected pregnancy. Today, I find out more about my marriage and my friends’ marriages because we initiate conversation. If I want to know at what point should my husband and I have life insurance, I’ll talk to my peers and find out what they did and hopefully learn from them. As society changes and progresses, hopefully more people will be able to openly talk about the complexities of marriage.

Cervical Cancer Vaccine: My Opinion

Even though I am now too old to receive the cervical cancer vaccine also known as Gardasil, I am personally against the vaccine, which might surprise some of you. I am all for other vaccines and am happy that researchers and physicians have started researching cancers that specifically affect over half the population, but I am rather skeptical of a vaccine that could affect reproduction. Several decades ago (and even in just a few decades ago) some birth control pills were known to have negative side effects such as sterilization. This is in part why I am skeptical of the vaccine. I did not want to put my own reproductive health in jeopardy since my husband and I hope in a year or two to have a baby. If I was younger or if the vaccine had been out longer, I probably would've gotten it. I believe many life threatening diseases and viruses can be overcome by being vaccinated and I will most definitely have my children properly vaccinated, but since I was on the cusp of being too old as well as relatively close to having children, I decided against the vaccine. This of course was a decision I discussed with my husband. I think every woman should make an educated decision about how to vaccinate and treat her body. For me, I decided to not get vaccinated. I understand the risks that I'm taking with my body and am fully prepared to live (or die) because of my decision.